I think I talk too much

We were laying in bed talking. OK, maybe I was the one doing the talking. I tend to ramble off about stuff that has to do with my friends, generally gossip. I can't help it, I find it juicy, but I learned, the hard way, that he doesn't.

I think I was talking about how a friend had just broken up with her boyfriend and they were still seeing each other. I was telling him how amazed I was that they could still see each other, even though they both knew that one of them was dating another person. I was so into my monologue that I was caught off guard when his hand reached over and covered my mouth. Yes, his hand was covering my mouth while he said, "tell me more."

"How can I tell you more if you are covering my mouth?" I mumbled. He laughed and took his hand off. He quickly apologizing for having done that, while he swore that it had been a mistake. "Sorry honey, I meant to do something else."

"What did you mean to do instead?" I asked, pissed off... He couldn't answer. So I guess he really did mean to shut me up, one way or another. 

Did he really just say that?

Friday, 8 pm. It was chilly outside. They had been to the movies with their friends and were in the car ready to go home. He, as the gentleman that he was, was going to drive her home. 

They had bee a couple for a few days and they were still full of that "new relationship feeling" that excites teens. 

As he turned on the engine, she felt the urge to kiss him. She had been wanting to do it for a while, but had not had the guts to do it. So as he turned on the engine she just could not resist it anymore and started to kiss him. It is so romantic, she thought. The engine was still on. 

After a few minutes of kissing, he pulled away. She thought that something was wrong. Maybe the police were outside and he had seen them, or maybe he remembered something important that he had forgotten to do. Why interrupt such a romantic moment? 

-"What is wrong?" she asked.

-"I have to turn off the car, wouldn't want to waste gas" he said, as he reached for the keys, and turned off the ignition.

She said nothing, but stared at him with piercing eyes as she thought: Did he really just say that? 

Rippy goes creepy

It's hard to tell when you're dating a psycho when you've never dated before. I was going out with someone —we'll call Rippy (you'll soon find out why)— when my lovely lab decided to have puppies. The second time around though, we were exhausted and just wanted to rid of the little fellows as soon as possible.

We advertised with friends, sent e-mails, posted messages at schools, offered them for nothing under a bridge to no avail. Rippy was very nice about the whole thing. He tried selling them among friends and family and even if he didn't sell a single puppy I was grateful for the time invested. When my sister finally sold the last one she gave me half of the money earned. It wasn't much but I felt like I was rich. To thank Rippy I offered a chunk of the money.

Me: Hey Rippy, so, I wanted to thank you for your help and I wanted to give you this [as I hand him what would be @ U.S. $50]

Rippy: No, I can't take that.

Me: Why not? You earned it. I want to thank you for spending time on this, for the effort. Come on, take it.

Rippy: Well, no. I can't take that.

Me: Don't give me a hard time. It's a thank you. Just take it.

Rippy: Why don't you buy me something with that money?

Me: I really don't know the name of all your favorite bands and besides, how will I know if you don't have the CD or something What if you want something else? I wouldn't know what you want. Please take it.

[At this point I'm stuffing the cash inside the glove compartment and asking him to start the car to drive to the movies].

Rippy: Please take the money out of there. I don't want it.

Me: Are you serious? Just TAKE IT!!!!!!

Rippy: No

Me: So what will you do??? I'm just going to leave it there.

Rippy: Well, I'm going to rip those bills.

Me [laughing]: Of course you won't. That's just stupid.

Rippy: Watch me.

Rippy proceeded to rip the cash while his eyes pierced mine with the most rage-infested look. I couldn't believe it. Suddenly I snapped out of my state of disbelief, I opened the door of the car and ran and ran as fast as I could possibly run. He followed me. We had already reached the park when I started screaming You psycho, how could you? it was just a way of thanking you! Are you insaaaaane?????

Rippy apologized right then and there but not because he thought I was right but because he was scared of my reaction (and of how fast I could run).
Two weeks after that we got into another fight because he told me —yet again— that he was right about his actions.
Creepers.

Guess that explains why Rippy is still single today.